1995 was the year when a telephone entered our house. I remember racing my three year old sister to answer the phone, every time it rang for the first two months. The novelty wore off soon though. But quite early on, our parents taught us the value of short conversations and meaningful relationships. My first job as a call center executive in GE taught me another lesson. The importance of keeping conversations short and simple. Even today, I find it a criminal waste of time to speak to anyone for hours together. It is a shameful waste of productivity and a costly drain of airtime.

I once read an account of a company driver who remembers an incident that happened in the long past. One day in the peak of summer, four corporate executives had to travel to a remote rural location. Given the poor condition of rural roads, a tyre went flat and the passengers were forced to stop while the tyre was changed. While three of the executives scurried away to take shelter from the scorching sun, only one executive stayed back. He took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves and squatted down with the driver to help change the tyre. Working together, they changed the flat in half the time it would have taken for the driver to do it alone. They resumed the journey soon after. The executive who helped the driver was none other than Ratan Tata. I felt a sense of pride just hearing the story. Imagine the pride and the sense of association the driver must have felt on that day.

Over the years, I wondered how so many people could spend hours talking over the phone with their “soulmates” (ironical) and one or two years after entering the institution of marriage, their conversations dwindled. The youth today has a burning itch to check their mobiles every few seconds and feel lost if the slow data connectivity delays the delivery of their life saving whatsapps. I rarely see these young guns read books while waiting at the airport. There are barely any young minds absorbing the beauty of nature while traveling with family and friends. We do not have the time to connect with the real people around us. Yet, as we enter our organization and begin work, we want our leaders to be connected to us.

Three to four years of graduation and two years of post graduation from premier institutes and presto, you have theoretically produced a professional who is ready to hit the corporate ground running! BUT, their academic degree is not a passport to becoming a great leader. Talking to bosses, attending late dinners and stretching over the weekend is OK for these bright minds but sparing some time to help the junior recruit settle down at work is too much work. With our heads buried under spreadsheets and numbers, we often forget that everything in life ultimately boils down to people. So when the office guard opens the door for you or the office boy runs your errands, saying a simple “Thank you” seems like a bit too much effort. A message on whatsapp or a friend’s foreign vacation pictures on Facebook are more important than acknowledging the live person in front of you. It is so easy to give orders to your reports but so very hard to coach them and help them grow. I feel sorry every time a bright executive leaves for consulting roles simply because they could not master the art of connecting with people. Leaders are not made by the degrees you earn or the title you hold or the people you network with. Leaders are made by the attitude you have and the behaviour you display even in the passing.

How many of us thank the office boy who brings our mail to us or serves us tea or coffee? How many of us take the time to just smile at the receptionist every morning as we enter the office? These are just some people we meet everyday. But under the enormous weight of our inflated professional titles and super inflated egos, we rarely have time to notice these people who don’t play a role in paying our salaries. Yet, we all have something to say about the “company culture not being quite right”. The “what’s in it for me?” attitude works well – but only for a while. Time is a cruel performance appraiser. The best leaders are not those who made the most money but those who connected the most with people.

Your life is a huge blank canvas and your behaviours are all the colours that you have at your disposal. The picture you paint on the canvas is entirely up to you. Just remember. that the canvas has two sides. On one side is the picture you paint as a professional and on the other, the picture is that of you as a person. The colours you choose and the picture you paint on either side it entirely up to you. But remember that one day, the professional life will end and only the picture that you painted on the personal side will see you through to the end.